Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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