So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
