After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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