Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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