physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
