I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
