You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
