WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
