So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
