Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
