i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
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