I accidentally burped into my bong.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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