please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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