Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
