I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
