Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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