I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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