Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
