When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
