I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
