im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
