He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
