Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
