Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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