brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
