I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
