I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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