Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Panties = found
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize