Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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