she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
