We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
