There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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