Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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