i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
