Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
