Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Randomize
