yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
