OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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