I wish I could teleport
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
