Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
