awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Boobs speak an international language.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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