Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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