So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
