i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
