That reminds me...we need to get swords
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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