I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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