literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The chlamydia really affected his face.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
