there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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