Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
