he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I had to cum in my sink.
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