She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
