Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
