Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
