Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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