yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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