Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
