I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
