he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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