That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
