Sponge bath it is.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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