Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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