did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize