i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
handjob tips. give me some.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
