Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
