I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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