I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
why is half of my head shaved?
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