all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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