she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize