That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
