I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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