Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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